Suffering & Questions.

I think I posted a total of 1 time in 2012-WOW. This past year has been INSANE and I realized how much has been going through my head, which accounts for why I have written so little.

 Do you ever has so many things going on in your head, you struggle to write simply because there is not enough pen & paper to fill your thoughts? That was me. This entire past year. Many, many good things. Some not as obviously so.

 In particular this has been a year of LOTS of questions for the Lord. I know the Lord has truly been pruning my theology and faith, which has been good, but also incredibly challenging.
Today, I read an article about one of my favorite musicians, Sandra McCracken.
She was *quoted (in answer to her lyrics/music),
 "there is a thread of hope that runs even in the darkest fabrics. I want to put that in there because in our season in life – where we are as a culture and in the world – I think cynicism can take over so easily. As a follower of Jesus, even, I try to weave that thread of hope into these songs and words. Hope is like a muscle we exercise; we choose to believe in these moments that these things will be made right. This is what we hope for. It’s like a new freedom to allow your heart to be broken because if you didn’t have hope, that would just be a bottomless pit. Those two things have a delicate balance, where we find ourselves living somewhere between the brokenness and the hope."

 This was so very moving to me. It truly inspired me to write again. I have seen lots of sorrow this year in sweet friends.

When I look on the Horizon, I see an often overwhelming wave of even more sorrow coming. Who can we trust but you Alone Lord?

 During this season the Lord has pushed me to trust His character, despite my often confused feelings.
 I can trust He is good: Nahum 1:7-really the entire Bible, time and time again he is Faithful when we are not!

 I do not have to fear: Isaiah 41:10, 2 Tim 1:7, Psalm 62:6,Psalm 23  

 He actually, truly, evidently hears my prayers: Psalm 116:1, Psalm 66:19, 2 Kings 20:1-6, James 5:16, Genesis 21:17, Genesis 30:22-24, 2 Samuel 22:4,7, Revelation 8:4 and so many many more in scripture!

 Even when He doesn't answer (my way), I can trust his character and be confident he is still good(see all above).

And largely a verse that I have dwelt on LOTS this year is:  

Romans 11:36(NLT) "For everything comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for his glory. All glory to him forever! Amen." 

 This has been the answer to many many difficult questions I have asked the Lord. And to be honest, it is a tough pill to swallow sometimes.
Everything is intended for His GLORY. not ours. my mine. His.
What a great act of mercy that God would create us, let us exist,, and be completely devoted to His glory.
I am so thankful for this truth. I am so thankful that even when I do have answers I can trust that we are created for His glory.

As my very wise friend Emily Jennings said, "It is hard when we have difficult questions that cannot be  answered in pretty packages neatly tied in bows."


May you too ask difficult questions, with difficult answers, you are willing to hear.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7cCqZ7FfeQU

-Leslie

*Article on Sandra McCracken: http://www.curatormagazine.com/jennisimmons/a-red-balloon-of-hope-part-2/