Growing old, but not quite growing up

There is a song called "Waiting" by the fabulous Matt Wertz. I was laying out at the beach today listening to shuffle on my ipod (something i hardly ever do because i memorize the play sequence and subconsciously like to hum the next song right before it starts). Anyway, this great song has a chorus to it that plays like this:

"Growing old. Growing old, but not quite growing up."

I have probably listened to this song 100 times but today that line really struck me. I think right now, that is EXACTLY how i feel. In the last month i cant even begin to tell you how many people have told me something along these line, " WOW! you are like a real adult!" or "sheesh all grown up now!" It's funny because until someone says that i never really think about it.

here are the raw facts.

1. in two months i am get married (something i am totally ready for)
2. we just bought a house. a real one. with real walls to paint and real things to fix.
3. i have a full time job using my degree that i spent 4 years getting..who does that!?

Now, these things hold real responsibilities. the kind at 22 i sometimes wonder if i am capable of handling.
But all these thoughts collide with a crazy thing that happened the other night. I was having this terrible dream (i knew eating that lobster crabcake would have consequences) and woke up in a frenzy. Out of no where i told the Lord i needed help cause i wanted to do things right!!! (i vaguely remember saying this loudly too) and just like..peace. and i went right back to sleep only to awake acutely aware of my night outburst.

see, cause really i think no matter how old i get..i probably wont ever feel like im the grown up i should be. i think that's a good place to be though. I want the Lord to guide my steps and make my decisions. Dont get me wrong, i want to be someone who carries responsibility and embraces the new and beautiful (and scary) steps in my life. But i also want to be someone who says (even if its in a delirious state of half asleep mind), Lord, i wanna do things right!

and how do i do things right?

Proverbs 2:3-6
"Cry out for insight, and ask for understanding.
Search for them as you would for silver, seek them like hidden treasures.
Then you will understand what it means to fear the Lord, and you will gain knowledge of God.
For the Lord grants wisdom! From his mouth come knowledge and understanding."


So here's to growing old..but not quite growing up.

-Leslie

September.

Today is the firs of September. This means that suddenly this will be the first blog on my page! yehaw! (i dont know why i just typed yehaw, i never say that. lol)




Here is what i am looking forward to this month.
1. Going to the beach with my parentals. hey, we live for family vacas around here.
2. Getting really tan from laying at the beach
3. Reading all the books i have saved specifically for one week at the beach. and yes, i will finish them all!
4. Learning more about my job..feeling less lost every day.
5. Linny is coming to visit this month! woohoo! i really miss sharing a room..and more importantly a life with her. This is going to be a very special weekend.
6. Going for my fitting for my dress. and Linny will be here to see it! Feeling kinda nervous about this but i think that it's the excited kind of nervous.
7. A joint shower with Daniel (i should clarify that this is a wedding shower..you know, the party kind. Just so the previous sentence doesn't sound shady.)
8. Meeting Greg and Sara for marriage counseling and Greg's famous "words of wisdom"
9. Closing on our house!! Sept 27th! Feeling like a true homeowner.
10. Daniel giving me free rein to pick our the paint colors for the house. i love that man. hopefully he still loves me after he sees my choices,lol.
11. cooler weather-i love fall!
12. Everyone starting school except for me and daniel..this might just be my favorite thing about September
13. Considering September still "summer" so Daniel and i have an excuse to go get icecream every night.
14. 2 months until we get married...woah! talk about time flying!
15. fall clothes. because, really, summer clothes only look good with a great tan..otherwise they look totally putrid. i prefer flannel shirts and jeans any day, and plus, my natural color, pasty white, looks better in them!

Yay for September!

So what are your thoughts about September!?

-Leslie