“The first love is drunken. When the intoxication wears off, then comes the real marriage love."
I love this quote because it's so true. The first time I met Daniel I leaned over and asked Rachel Hartman, "who is that guy with the beautiful smile?!" She answered Daniel Pendergrass. And that was it. We met, we dated, we married. I remember being so taken with Daniel that I knew he was "the one" soon after our first date. We recently had a conversation about how quickly we said, "I love you" (a week into dating!). We were young and had never dated anyone else and we meant it. But looking back we have to smile at how little we really understood what love meant. It was in fact, just as Martin Luther stated, drunken love. You know what I mean..the "no you hang up first" "i love you more" "you are the air i breathe!" "you can do no wrong" kind of love. The real love comes when you can say, "no one else in the world annoys me more than you" "i forgive you" "WHO DID I MARRY!?" "You are crazy" I dont mean that you lose the sweetness of love, but somewhere in the mix you realize that this person has flaws and yet, despite them all you love them even more. It is no longer the drunken love, but a love that has depth and substance. and it's good. real good.
Daniel and I just had our first year of marriage. Despite all the horror stories we had heard about the first year of marriage, it was a FABULOUS year!! I learned so much about myself in the process and wanted to compile my top 10 things i learned in marriage:
1. I am selfish. Greg Pulling told Daniel and I that marriage will teach you how truly selfish you are. I thought it was a silly comment but boy was it true! There is no one who sees the real side of you like your spouse when you act like no one or nothing matters more than YOU. It is embarrassing and humbling and a daily reminder that the world does not revolve around you. Why is this such a hard lesson!?
2. A king size bed makes for a happy marriage. Let's be real here. Marriage is great, but when you are sleeping..you need room!! It is nothing like the movies where you fall asleep in each others arms. The reality is.."waking up in the middle of the night because your husbands hand is once again resting on your face." "Fighting over the sheets (why dont they make those things bigger?!) move your leg, give me back my pillow, get back to your side. All problems eliminated by a big bed. yesss.
3. Being married to your best friend in one of the greatest joys in life. There is something beautiful about sharing a life with someone who sees you at your best and worst and who laughs at your jokes, who loves you fiercely and tells you your cooking is good and you look hot even when you look like a hot MESS.
4. Jesus makes the marriage good. Without God marriage will always be missing the biggest piece. Because of Jesus you learn to serve each other because marriage isnt about you. You always forgive wrongs and offer each other grace upon grace because that is what Christ has offered us. This friends, is the key to not only a happy marriage, but life.
5. House projects teach you all you need to know about each other: Working on house projects (something we spent our entire first year doing) can really be a make or break. Thankfully for Daniel and I we learned how completely alike our work ethics, crazy ideas, and taste (i know, i NEVER thought we would like the same things) are!!
6. learn to love what they love: look, It is good and often necessary to have your own interests (we do), but there is something to say for learning to love what your spouse loves. For example VCU basketball. I used to resist Daniel at every turn whenever he wanted to go to games. I mean, look, im not really into the whole my husband gets so hype he throws me across the isle (yes this actually happened once) but i finally realized that my bad attitude wasn't keeping us from going to games. If you cant beat 'em, join 'em. Who would have ever thought we would have gotten to go to Houston for the final 4 (did i mention our hotel room was attached to a 3 story mall!?) So you see, everyone ends up happy!! GO RAMS!
7. Marriage is FUN: I cant remember EVER having fun like we did this year. Our Honeymoon was in St. Thomas, Virgin Islands. We went to California to see the Redwoods and San Francisco to ride a trolly and see the golden gate. We went to Houston for the final 4, We went to Cape Cod where i saw the plymouth rock and ate the best cupcakes in the world. and a million other fun things. Truly marriage was better than ANYONE told us!!
8. No one could appreciate their husband more. With all the travel Daniel has done this year (listed above are some of his work spots) I learned, I MEAN REALLY LEARNED to appreciate the time we spend together. Im so thankful for this lesson. May i never fail to appreciate the great blessing of my husband. He is a hard worker and despite it all always finds ways to love me when he is away.
9. Get a dog: this taught me how much my husband loves me. Not only did he get me a little dog, but one that wears heart sweaters and pink outfits! He takes her out when its cold or dark and wakes up early to feed her. He complains about it daily but its obvious they love each other. When he is out of town im so glad to have that stubborn, obstinate, sweet dog who loves to snuggle!
10. I'll end this post now and just give some pictures from our first year...enjoy!!
